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Yesterday afternoon was some moments of such joy filled with memories of mum, these past five years I have been losing a part of my mum she of course does not know what is happening only that her once agile body has become a little broken and weary, her mind will not retain all that is required to function so we have moments of mum and moments where I look at this person and wonder who is she, I then drift of with memories of her chasing me round the block because I wouldn’t go to school and of her laughter filling the house, my mother had spirit and many moments of joy you see I loved my mum as a small child and of course, now that I am this old lady, the memories come flooding in daily as she is leaving I am grabbing the memories, as to lose them would be unbearable, and I might soon follow her and lose those wonderful times, I think when you care for a loved one with dementia you get so caught up with caring for them you lose sight of the person in front of you and all you can think of is what you need to do to help make them comfortable, I feel so sad because mum is still there amongst her jumbled mind, my mum sits and stares into space I would love to think she is remembering times of joy dancing with a loved one and eating with her family going on holidays which was such joy for her, but in reality she is sitting there in her little flat filled with pictures of her grandchildren and the people she has loved, and the space that is familiar to her.